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My name is Lori,  I am a 40 something  ;) single woman from St Cloud and I've lived in the St Cloud area all my life. Four years ago, I was an over achieving Type A Personality with a credit score of over 750.  I served two four terms as a St. Cloud City Council member, I was an active Realtor, a Real Estate Investor and Landlord.  I had two part time jobs, volunteered often, bought and remodeled my own home and even had time for family and friends. 

 Major Clinical Depression slowly crept into my life. It is difficult to describe the slow downward spiral into this very dark place.  The spiral included everything from medication to talk therapy to ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy). 

 For over two years, I was able to use my financial savvy, good credit and knowledge as a professional to live off my part time employment, frugal spending, real estate investments and retirement.  Over time, this was not enough to sustain basic living expenses and investments.  I spent my retirement savings and investments and even had to borrow money from my elderly Mother and others.  With no motivation and energy, the feelings of losing control of my life were overwhelming. I became easily distracted, irritable, disorganized and isolated.  Major Clinical Depression made doing daily activities overwhelming; like doing the dishes, basic housekeeping or personal care. My poor cat Chewy even missed some feedings. It was amazing, however, how our pets just know when we need them and she has been there for me. All of this was so embarrassing ~ the simplest things were so difficult and I slowly pulled away from my friends and family. Shame was a huge part of my illness. I kept scolding myself, as if I was just lazy and not really sick. Over time I realized just how debilitating my illness had become.

 Over time, with the help of antidepressants, working with Independent Lifestyles to support my "coming out" efforts, seeing a counselor on a regular basis, working with a County Mental Health Social Worker all were steps in reorganizing my life and routine. I am now living in recovery using supports in the community.  I educate others about mental illness and have spoken to groups about my story. I also represent Stearns County as the Consumer Representative on the CommUNITY Project and their Administrative Steering Committee.  I take steps everyday to stay healthy and manage my illness.  I am dedicated to live in recovery. More than anything, I want to work to inspire and educate the public in understanding the very real pervasive stigma. I want to encourage consumers ~ to inspire them ~ to take steps to live in recovery, which I personally know is possible. There is hope and that is the biggest message consumers need to hear from someone who's been there. 

 I want people to hear my story, as I continue to work to break down the "silence" ~ the stigma of mental illness. At first I couldn't even use the words to describe that yes, I was mentally ill ~ even though it was true. But as a survivor of this horrific, sometimes fatal illness, I've come to realize I am not a “mentally ill person” but a daughter, flea market aficionado, I'm a sister, home owner, friend, a very funny and personable woman, a professional, an investor, volunteer, Aunt, educated dynamic woman who lives with mental illness.  I am a person first. Full of all the beauty and gifts that now I can see clearly.  I am no longer defined by my mental illness.  I know I would not believe these things about myself if it were not for the support of my IL Specialist who gently guided me and encouraged me to reach out to friends and family, as well as to organize and simplify my life.  I am working passionately and diligently in rebuilding my life after my Major Clinical Depression. I know and believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that with the support of others I will have an absolutely amazing and fulfilling life. Chapter Two is just beginning and I'm thrilled to finally walk that walk.  The best thing is I won't have to walk that life alone.  Thank you to my IL Specialist who is my lifeline and has made a difference in my life.  

 

 

My name is Vangie. I was born with hearing loss and later developed GERD (gastroesophogeal reflux disease), which has caused several problems with eating and digestion. In 1987, at the age of 19, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. In 1996, I earned my bachelor’s degree in Urban Planning from St. Cloud State University. After graduating and two successful pregnancies, I worked from 1999-2006 for several non-profit organizations. I decided to go back to St. Cloud State University obtaining my Community Health Bachelors degree in December, 2007, and began the journey of finding a new career. I was busy raising two small children in a 3 bedroom apartment in Sauk Rapids. Also, I was a member of the Sauk Rapids Planning Commission and a Park Board Member and proud to be a key person in developing the Sauk Rapids Farmer’s Market.

On March 12, 2008, the life I knew would change forever. For four long days I lay, dying in my apartment unconscious after suffering a toxic metabolic encephalopathy stroke related to my diabetes. Thankfully, my mother called the police to check on me as she had not heard from me in several days. (My children were with their father as it was spring break for school.) I was hospitalized until May 2nd with a decision to make – either reside at a nursing home or move down to Iowa with my parents to recover. I decided I would live with my parents until I got back on my feet knowing I had to leave my children behind to live with their father as he filed for sole custody. By the end of summer 2008, I was ready to move back to Sauk Rapids to be reconnected with my children and begin my new life.

The fall of 2008 was very difficult and challenging as I began struggling with severe depression and anxiety. For the next six weeks I participated in outpatient Day Treatment due to a diagnosis of Major Depression. I truly felt lost and alone dealing with all my physical and mental health issues, as well as dealing with the court system to get back custody of my children. I was ready to give up when I decided to attend a "Disability Matters Town Hall Forum" in St. Cloud. I knew I needed to get help and to tell my story.

It was there that I first met an independent living specialist through Independent Lifestyles. She assisted me in connecting with Benton County Human Services and accessing supports through a CADI waiver – where I received many services such as homemaking, medication assistance and independent living skills, etc. For months we worked to achieve many goals – mainly around coping and dealing with the new challenges and obstacles I faced everyday as a person now with physical limitations and mental health issues. She has attended various meetings with Benton County and Rehabilitation Services and has been a voice for me when I have become overwhelmed with emotions and unable to speak. In June 2009, I was denied MA and I thought I had lost my services with Independent Lifestyles. However, Independent Lifestyles continues to work with me and advocate for me for as long as I need services.

Every day I ask myself, "What does my future hold for me?" and "Where do I go from here?" Everyday is a new beginning and I know my strengths, determination, and values will make me successful. My future plans include getting back partial custody of my two children and having appropriate visitation and co-parenting time. I plan on obtaining employment, earning a livable wage and contributing to society, by utilizing my education and work experience to better help others in the community. My future plans also include continuing to volunteer with the Sauk Rapids Farmer’s Market and becoming a motivational speaker. I would like to regain some County assistance to increase my independence and overall success as I do need homemaking assistance and other areas of support.

I thank the Independent Lifestyles team from the bottom of my heart for always being there for me when I needed advice, advocacy and resources or just someone to let it all out with. I have never felt judged because of my disabilities while working with Independent Lifestyles. My Independent Living Specialist has taught me that for whatever reason this was my journey in life and now I must do with it what needs to be done and if that is to assist others with disabilities achieve success and equality then that is what I shall do. I want to again thank her and the entire Independent Lifestyles team for doing the work they do, for advocating for people with disabilities and for their continued support, guidance and encouragement.

Here are two quotes I live by: "Live today like it’s your last" and "Don’t Take Life for Granted"

*We are sad to announce that on June 6,2010 Vangie passed away after being injured in a car accident.

 

   

This is an example of the type of  assistance that ILICIL can provide to people with disabilities.  ILICIL is a private non-profit agency who depends on State funds to operate, with the help of donations, we are able to provide a wide range of services for people with disabilities.  If you would like to help people with disabilities get more resources to live independently you can give a donation to ILICIL.  Your donation is tax deductible and you will receive a thank you letter with a tax donation receipt.  You can send your donation to Independent Lifestyles, Inc.  519 2nd Street North, St. Cloud, MN 56303 or call for more information (320) 529-9000.  You may also use the button at the top of the page to donate now.